errorlevel.org

I try not to write much about my occupation. I prefer to have that separation between work and non-work life. Nevertheless, as a bus driver (mass transit bus, not a school bus) who was working on Northern Illinois University's campus at the time of Thursday's shootings, I feel compelled to tell my story.

I was recently chosen to give a speech on behalf of students with learning disabilities at my college. So, here is that speech:

I often hear people say that they believe there is deeper meaning behind events in life. One might also believe it is either fate, or some guiding hand which leads us to what we are supposed to do or to what is ultimately supposed to happen.

It should be no surprise to anyone who knows me that I disagree. What people see as deeper meaning could be no more than that which is later revealed to have been prevented from or allowed to occur. This is no more deeper meaning than the principle of cause and effect.

When we say that there is deeper meaning behind events by using after-the-fact justifications, we are showing our willingness and inclination to find order in the world. We want to believe that the world is not chaotic; that ultimately someone, if not us, has control. We want to be positive about the outcome of our lives and of our actions. If what we do or how we lived was meant to be that way, then we are allowed to feel solice in our position in the world.

Deeper meaning could be no more than the meaning we allow events to have.

"A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic." -- Joseph Stalin

In times of peace, people are valuable because they are people. They are humans and human life is important. When in the course of events many people start dying, a sort of dehumanizing takes place. We begin not to look at people as being people anymore. We no longer feel the same compassion for one death.

When people are dying left and right, like in Iraq, what is left is a void. This is a void of humanity. To cope with so many deaths, eventually these things laying on the side of the road after an IED attack are no longer dead people. They are not even bodies, but are objects. And the concern is no longer on the families affected by the tragic loss, but how to move these things out of the way so that what remains of life can continue.

It is not that these deaths are any less important. We avoid mourning for so many people because we must: to stay sane, to maintain normality in our own lives, to reduce our living to the narrow sphere around which our lives are based so that the outside world does not impede our happiness.

To bring us out of this downward spiral, we need to start feeling again. We need to become outraged at every single death. We must allow this outrage to build, and to motivate to action. We must view every death that happens, whether at the hands of a crazed gunman in America, or at the hands of the American military in Iraq, as a tragedy, as a call to action, and as a reason for change for the better.

These people shall not have died in vain. Their lives were not worthless. If anything, their lives are the cost of progress, of motivating a numb, complacent society to the point of action.

For the past year, I've worked on the campaign of John Laesch. I was never under the assumption that defeating the income-bent Speaker of the House would be easy. Nevertheless, I was upset when I found out that John lost the election.

John's campaign slogan was "Revive the American Dream!" Now, I would say that the principle American ethic is to leave the world a better place for our children. Nearly all of us want our children to be better off than we are.

Building on this, the American Dream is a dream of hope. Things can and do get better, no matter how bad we have it. The patriots threw off the British rule. The abolitionists succeeded in bringing the South back into the Union and ending slavery. Oligopolies and monopolies were busted. Fascism was defeated. Social services were instituted. Things get better. There is hope for our future.

I say that I won in this election because John Laesch brought hope. I won because when I stepped into the voting booth to fill-in my ballot, I cast my vote for whom I thought was best fit to serve the office. I won because I had the privilege of voting for Jonathan "John" Laesch. Never before had I ever been as excited and proud to vote.

I won because I was able to volunteer for John, to feel like I was an integral part of a team bent on reviving and fulfilling the American Dream.

I won because through the campaign I made many new friends: Carolyn, both the Joes, Ben, Laura, Dick, Lisa, Steve, Jim, Jimi, Sue, Robyn, Onyx, and John Laesch and his lovely fiancée Jen. Thank you all. I would gladly do it all over again.

Thanks for the hope.

All throughout elementary school, middle school, high school and even in a large portion of college, math is all about solving problems using techniques taught in class.. You are taught the order of operations in elementary school; factoring techniques, graphing techniques, trigonometric proofs, and even some methods of solving for derivatives and integration in high school. The concentration is always on using theorems and techniques developed by other people. You are to assume that the theorems and techniques work.

I am currently a student of Abstract Algebra at Northern Illinois University. Abstract Algebra is the course that NIU uses to introduce its math majors to developing proofs. A while back got the results of our first exam. Many students who are now taking the class haven't ever done math proofs before (except for high school geometry, perhaps).

Well, it has been a while since I've updated this site. It has mostly to do with the fact that my life has been completely turned upside down for the past month. For reasons beyond my control, life became difficult last semester and as a result I ended up being academically dismissed from my university. After having all winter break to dwell on the possibility of my life being irreparably altered, I found out on the Thursday before classes were to begin (January 13th) that the appeal I submitted to the Dean explaining my circumstances had been accepted and I was allowed back into the university. I was able to get into most of the classes I had planned on taking this semester, unfortunately, I wasn't able to get into all of them.

Maybe that was better than if I had been able to get into them. Apparently people look at you funny when you decide to take both MATH 440 Complex Variables and MATH 430 Advanced Calculus at the same time at Northern Illinois University so after being effectively told I was nuts by the head of the Computer Science department I was allowed to take a class (CSCI 462 Theoretical Computer Science) whose requirements I have not completely fulfilled, so now I should have a slightly lighter course-load than if I had taken both MATH 440 and MATH 430. So, I am now enrolled in only 13 credit-hours, however that is just fine with me.